…at least it does for some.
A friend of mine recently asked if I was cynical about marriage given my own didn’t last its course. I had to think for a moment. Was I? Do I look upon the idea of marriage as something not worth pursuing? Do all marriages come apart at the seams in the end? Are all married couples secretly unhappy?
When I reflected for a while longer, I realised that I am not cynical about marriage completely. After all, I hold a lot of hope for my own sons. I pray I live to see them embark upon this new phase of their lives and embrace their own rights and responsibilities and help their spouses acknowledge those that belong to them. I know there are still many successful examples of marriages out there. It would be extremely unfair to paint every marriage with the same brush.
What I do have strong reservations about is a second attempt at marriage for myself. There are many reasons for that but a lot of them have to do with not having the will or energy to go through the palaver all over again. Right now, at this time in my life, I am just beginning to enjoy a new freedom. I have found a niche which allows me to make choices for me and me only. Perhaps I have become a little selfish but isn’t it about time? Having given the best years of my life to my former spouse and my children, I now exert my right to put myself first for a change. And even then, I wonder how often I do put myself first!
So, to think of a second shot at marriage doesn’t carry any excitement for me. There is a time and place for everything. The ‘everything’ which I am now in search of does not involve a partner’s input. They would just get in the way. I have just learnt how to take control back of my life and I refuse to let anyone try to steal that control away again. Also, for the things I couldn’t do when I was younger due to other commitments etc., I seek to conquer some of them with whatever time I have left. They are very modest things but important nevertheless.
So it is with these jumbled thoughts that I attended a wedding this weekend. I am extremely happy for the new couple and wish them the very best for their future. As first timers in the realm of marriage, I know they must be excited about starting a new life together and inshaAllah eventually welcoming children in years to come. I can’t deny that is a wonderful phase of life to be in. Some of us have been there. I was there once upon a time myself.
Now I want to be somewhere else.