It’s one of the salient pieces of advice I was given a few years ago as I was struggling to come to terms with my new life. “Keep Busy.”
Not only has staying preoccupied with my current daily chores and tasks helped me remain focussed on my present life, rather than the past, it has had other hidden benefits which I didn’t envisage earlier on.
Perhaps the most obvious one is that staying busy has also given me a much-needed structure to my day/s. As a working person, I have a purpose to wake up and goals to meet that keep me moving forward. Whilst I am involved physically in those tasks, so too is my mind. When it comes to paid work, I guess many people view it as merely a means of income and, given the choice, would rather not be tied to such a monotonous drudgery. True, who wouldn’t love to be freed from the burden of having to earn a living just to survive? Yet I have been fortunate to have landed a job which, although not my ideal choice, has given me the chance to forget about my own stresses whilst I busy myself in it. I have the chance to be amongst a myriad of people on a daily basis. Those daily encounters, large or small, collectively serve to make me focus on, learn about and share in someone else’s issues and not my own. And all of these human transactions are so important in my own personal development and engagement with my present-day situation.
Of course, there are times I need to step back from life to relax and even vegetate. I make no apology for that. These moments are just as important as constantly being on the go. I need to recharge and reset myself before the next round and couldn’t pretend to live like an automated robot. All in all, Alhamdulillah, I think I have struck a healthy balance. How can I be so sure? I say that confidently because I realise as the time gap between my past and present widens, I am not so triggered any more. Not triggered by people’s comments, advice or even apathy. With each passing day, I am metaphorically throwing dust on each and every unwanted memory until it becomes buried even more.
Having a sense of mental peace within is an important foundation upon which I can fathom how to protect my physical wellbeing. In fact, the two are so inextricably intertwined, it’s difficult to know which one precedes the other. A bit like the “chicken or the egg” situation. I have discovered – after so many years of lacking the confidence to do something about it – to take control of my physical health and start regular exercise. This has lead to some weight loss, Alhamdulillah. I felt that I’d finally woken up from the lie that I’d sold myself that I could never achieve this goal. It was such an eye opener that I have no words to describe it. It’s no exaggeration that this discovery was borne out of the need to experience trauma and rise from the ashes and have a kind of rebirth. I had to hit rock bottom in life and work from ground zero. First, I had to take care of my mental health. However, this soon made me realise I needed to work on my physical health which in turn was wired back into my mental mindset. A win-win situation but one which had taken almost a lifetime to learn. Better late than never.
Essentially, this has been my definition of ‘keeping busy’ in the last few years. It hasn’t been a diary cluttered with stressful events. It has been about giving towards and taking the best from life where I can be productive.The formula has served me well, Alhamdulillah.
Feeling content and at peace with my lot, in a sincere way, has allowed me not to be perturbed by nonsense from others. They will not be able to shake my security again. The only situation where this could happen is if Allah wills. Nobody else will singlehandedly possess that ability as I’ve learnt to take away that privilege from them.
They say “two’s company, three’s a crowd.” There is great truth in that paradigm. Where there is Allah and myself, I can now understand why a third person would get in the way. My busy-ness will now shift more towards pleasing Him, inshaAllah.
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