It’s been eight years since I had to restart life on my own with my sons. Unsurprisingly, the first couple of years (especially) were the hardest for obvious reasons. However, these days I feel that dark episode of my life is a distant memory, Alhamdulillah. I can confidently say that I am living my best life now. Unfettered by demands from another and what with my sons all being young adults carving out their own niches for themselves, a huge weight has shifted from my shoulders.
Whilst I still remain the captain of the ship in terms of household bills and chores, recently I have been able to delegate much more and hope to continue to do so, inshaAllah. This has helped release me from a prison mentality where I have been constantly fretting about my short-term priorities, especially financial stresses. Now that my sons are able to step up and help, I am able to enjoy some liberation.
It really is time for ME now.
With that mindset, last week I made an impromptu decision to visit Cheddar Gorge with my younger two sons. I have always loved ‘impromptu’ when it comes to travelling. To me, it speaks of adventure, determination and courage rather than brazen irresponsibility. It speaks of a free spiritedness which wants to seek opportunities in life and grab them before they disappear. Whilst careful planning is also to be commended, being predictable and calculated all the time can also be boring. It zaps the fun out of taking chances, heading into the unknown and just waiting to see what happens.
Anyway, I digress…
The gorge was stunning and the absolute silence we experienced whilst hiking was, in itself, captivating. Not a sound save the susurration of the trees and the occasional chirping of a bird. Views of the precipices all along the way reminded us of how many millena it must have taken for us to be able to casually walk in this setting. We were immersed in a scene of timeless beauty. It is these kind of experiences which are the perfect antidote for urban living. As I get older, I truly understand why people choose to retire to the countryside away from the chaos of the cities. I would never tire of seeing and hearing all that nature has to offer. But, for now, even a day trip to Cheddar was a welcome respite for us. The hike up to the top of the gorge and down, which had to be repeated to reach the opposite side, was in itself a wonderful alternative to a visit to the gym. The unspoilt nature in front of us was an incomparable upgrade.
These are kind of experiences I pray I continue to be part of. In these moments, my mind is uncluttered and I can exhale from the depths of my being. With that, comes a deep gratitude for being where I am in my life right now. I don’t depend on the whims of another person to determine how my day will turn out. I will never give in to that scenario again.
I request people looking in on my life not to feel pity. I am wholeheartedly at peace and have long accepted my lot. I continue to look forward to new milestones in my own life and that of my sons too, inshaAllah.
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