In Ramadan, we are well-acquainted with the advice to keep negative thoughts and actions well at bay. Given the heightened spiritual ambience that this month brings into our homes and hearts, for the most part, it is a much easier thing to do than in times outside of Ramadan.
However…..
I cannot feign perfection. There are often moments when painful memories surge back to the forefront of my mind when I least expect. Usually, I might be caught in a daydream and a catalogue of random thoughts all fuse together to thrust me back to a past incident I’d much rather forget. Before long, I’m spiralling downwards into the dark recesses of the past.
The beauty of Ramadan though, is that those thoughts are sporadic and more easily channelled into positive energy. I can snap out of them and quickly redirect myself to a thought process that brings out the best in me and not the worst. I manage to diffuse the negativity before it consumes me. That’s because I want to capitalise on this precious month and other activities, especially ibadah (worship) take precedence in my day. I don’t want this time to slip away without investing in what is to come – not just in this life but especially beyond. A heightened consciousness of Allah is often achieved through worship. But worship itself is not limited to the five daily prayers and Quran. It’s about engaging in the realisation that every action, in between those other overt acts of worship, connects back to the fact that Allah is in control and He knows us better than we know ourselves. So, I can relax. I am in good hands, Alhamdulillah.
So, yes, although sadness is part and parcel of this life, I’ve come to terms with that. But acknowledging that the presence of sadness has an actual purpose helps makes it more bearable. And had I not contemplated that fact, perhaps I would never had had the chance to draw closer to Allah and have private conversations with Him. I now understand that through it all, I have actually gained more than I ever lost. Whilst the gains may not be tangible, I know they’re real because the proof is that I am buoyant about life still. I haven’t thrown in the towel. I am still eager to make the most of the limited time left and give back even more insha’Allah.
Throughout my life, I know my inherent nature has always been about positivity and a willingness to fight. The last few years didn’t extinguish that desire. If anything, they reignited the passion to be the best version of myself and follow the dreams I’ve been waiting to make real.
Onwards and upwards, insha’Allah.
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