Any Regrets?

I’m sure the majority of adults have had that question asked to them when it comes to reflecting on their lives so far. The responses will be varied and some would say they wish they could go back to their youth and do things differently. Others are quite content and simply keep looking forwards instead of back. I try to subscribe to the latter group.

There’s no point in lamenting things which can’t be undone. That would be missing out on life twice over. A waste of energy and time. And time is something we clearly have less of as we grow older so all the more reason not to ponder too much but keep pushing on.

I personally don’t have any deep regrets about decisions I’ve made in the past. Perhaps the one thing I do wish I had opted for was a degree which had led to a specific vocation rather than an open-ended one which specialised in nothing in particular. It’s not that I ever wanted to be a doctor, lawyer or engineer (the staples of an Asian career spectrum). However, I do wish I had geared myself more towards paid work in the charity sector where I was more involved in the decision-making process which would have a direct impact on others’ lives. More than my marriage coming to an end (which would normally been seen as a huge unravelling in someone’s life) I wish I had chosen an academic path that aligned better with my work goals.

Despite that, I don’t dwell on it too much. Alhamdulillah, I achieved and experienced things in-between which many others have not and am acutely aware of those blessings. Now, as I move into my latter years and that constant impending feeling that this peaceful phase may be disrupted at any time by ill health, a change of financial circumstances or even death itself, my mindset is still one full of hope and optimism. I look forward to not only what my sons are hoping to accomplish for themselves in their own lives, but my own unfinished business on this earth.

Above all, there is peace in my life, Alhamdulillah. To be in that condition is something not to be underestimated when all around me there is chaos in the world. That’s not to say I don’t have my share of personal worries. No, they will always be there. But I have learnt to have the upper hand and not let them overwhelm me. Through the peace I have and the advantage point I stand in, I aim to ameliorate the condition of others, albeit in a small way. Insha’Allah, I hope to continue to live out my days with this ambition fulfilled.