Earlier today, my son set off for his next chapter in life. He has found a new place of work and hence has had to leave home to be nearer to it. What has been home for him for the last ten years or so, is no more. This is a new phase not just for him but for the rest of us who remain behind too. Arguably, the greatest change has been for him and me, as his mother.
It’s not just the physical departure that I have to get used to. It’s the realisation that there’s a whole new permanent change that is taking place. Insha’Allah, one day he will get married and this will seal the fact that life for us as a family will forever be different now. And so it will be for my others sons too when each of them also figure out their next move, both in terms of career and marriage one day, insha’Allah. It’s a curious crossroads in life for me – a time to celebrate their growth and maturity but also to feel poignant about the past.
Would I want to hold onto my sons for the longest time? Of course! But I know that’s not healthy for any of us and I certainly do not want to be the cause of their stagnation or missed opportunities. I guess this is how life is meant to be. From one single family unit there will be splintering off. Although in my own case, their father was the first one to break away… Not the way I ever imagined my life to pan out but it is what it is. At least, with my sons, their departure from home was something I could always foresee.
With that foresight, I’ve tried to prepare myself for my own readjustments. Keeping busy with work, both paid and voluntary, and having a good close circle of family and friends, has been my saving grace. All of that embedded in a belief that Allah is the One who will guide my heart to a sense of peace and contentment. I remind myself of the adage, “The only one constant in life is change.” This is exactly where I am now, moving on the undulating waves of time. Although I don’t doubt my sons will not leave me completely on my own as I grow older, I also don’t wish to become dependent too soon. As long as I can keep going with some control over my own life, I will, insha’Allah and this is so that my own aspirations will sustain me whilst around me is all change.
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