As I move through life and come to the realisation that I am at the latter end of it, I often have to step back and ask myself, “What gives me purpose now? What goals do I have, if any?” These are questions that bounce around in my mind often.
I’ve often commented that I don’t have any crazy career aspirations. If anything, I’m happy to keep the status quo as is and just let things keep ticking over quietly. In some respects, I’ve settled for ‘comfortable’ over ‘challenging’ and make no apologies for that given that I simply want to keep a roof over my head and manage day-to-day life. My current job was always meant to be a means to an end and it has been serving that purpose well. Of course, I enjoy it, Alhamdulillah, so there is no need to rock that boat.
Alongside work though, I have always sought opportunities to pursue my lifelong passion to serve others through formal charitable activities, Again, Alhamdulillah, there have been opportunities to do that over the years and especially in going out in the field to see that charity in action. This is where I see my contribution to society as most impactful. Not that I’m indispensible – no. However, it’s an area where I find myself come to life and awakens in me an alacrity when I get involved.
As one becomes older, the focus moves from ourselves to the upcoming generation behind us – as it should. Inevitably, what happens is parents find themselves standing in the wings of life’s stage gently ushering their children into the spotlight. In my own case, whilst I wouldn’t it any other way, I’m aware that I find I mustn’t forget myself in the process. My life and personal goals still remain important.
Although I have always coaxed and encouraged my sons to find their purpose and goals for themselves, I have also become very conscious not to surrender my own dreams for myself along the way. I have had the foresight to know this can lead to a dangerous – if not depressing – situation where I might wake up one day and not know the purpose of my existence without seeing it through the lens of another human being. I’m a huge advocate of having a sphere of my life which I call my own – where nobody dictates my movements, where I am solely responsible for the consequences of my actions and where the achievements acquired are mine alone to celebrate too. This is how I intend to move through life where a part of me isn’t attached to any familial role such as mother or sister or aunt.
Oddly enough too, charity work is the one area where I have pushed the boat out and forced myself to emerge from my comfort zone. That’s because, unlike the paid work, which I see more as a means to an end, my charitable involvements in life give me a true sense of fulfilment and purpose. Serving humanity is what keeps my consciene alive and gives me a true sense of accountability in my actions. This is what ‘being relevant’ means for me. It’s not about seeking the praise of others and wanting public recognition. It’s about knowing that my actions have consequences which are far-reaching even beyond the realms of this temporal world.
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