Shifting Gears

It’s been something I’ve been contemplating for several months but only conceded to more recently – I need to review my routine and switch up things to get more out of life.

There’s no denying that age is catching up with me and I realise I wouldn’t dare try to do things now which I probably did much younger without thinking. Things like jumping from the fifth step to the bottom of the stairs or cycling down a steep slope. No doubt, I have to exercise much more caution now and that is an interesting pun in itself. I am exercising in the sense that I am trying to preserve my health but also with the understanding that I do so more as a preventative measure against other ailments. Health concerns such as loss of bone density, menopause and muscular dystrophy are some of the many concerns that women my age have to contend with.

With all that in mind, I’ve decided that I need to shift down gears when it comes to my work commitments. Easier said than done when financial demands have a chokehold on my life and hold me captive to the point of stagnation. I am yearning for something different but that difference has to be financially viable. No point in wooing change if it does not pay the bills.

So, whilst I feel the desperate need to slow down, ironically I also want to change lanes and gain momentum in other ways. Not because I am racing to reach a target. But because I am – and have been for some time – feeling restless. My brain and my soul equally are both in dire need of a new stimulus. Just like how the same exercise routine at the gym will cause the body to plateau in terms of weight loss, so too my mind needs to be jolted out of a predictable comfort zone and find something new to satiate it.

My own weakness is procrastination and a niggling feeling of self-doubt that never leaves me. I know I must take the plunge and pour more of myself into my personal projects. Whether I succeed or not is not the issue. It is moreso that I don’t surrender to my pessimistic thoughts before I’ve even tried. Having people in my inner circle who goad me to take action, has been a much-needed impetus that I”ve needed. Insha’Allah, I feel I might just be on the cusp of taking action simply because this current situation, without anything to excite me, is becoming extremely untenable.

So, whilst the gears need to be lowered, I aim to move into a new lane and essentially keep moving forward with a greater expectant hope for new things around the bend.