I am deeply grateful to have recently completed yet another year of my life. Alhamdulillah. And yet, there’s a “but” that comes as a sobering appendage to that milestone or that day.
It’s not about how I feel being or looking older. It’s moreso that a birthday nowadays becomes a time to assess what has already passed, and the achievements I’ve made, or those goals I may have missed. Whether it be spiritual, financial, personal or even physical, looking back on how I have spent the past year, brings with it a mixed bag of emotions. Progress has been made on all those fronts but not to the extent I would have wished for. Some of the missed targets are nobody’s fault but my own so I accept responsibility for that. Others are simply because the circumstances didn’t present themselves despite my input.
This birthday, in particular, I didn’t want any fuss to be made over me. I didn’t ask for cards, presents or even to go out for a meal (although some of those things still happened). I genuinely wanted to simply take stock of where I am now in my life and have time to ponder on it all. A birthday, I guess, is an excuse to pause and recalibrate and think about what’s next. As the ratio of time between that part of my life already completed and that which is left, becomes less favourably balanced, I feel the pressing need to forge forward with the different projects I want to busy myself with.
Procrastination will no longer do. I can see that my current routine is becoming too predictably boring and I need change and challenges. Only I can bring that into being so this blog is being written as a promise to do that. It will serve almost as a testimonial to myself that I have made a bold pledge to take action and take it now! Knowing the best part of my life is passing by (or has already!), I must stop talking and actually switch to “doing”. Insha’Allah, I hope I hold myself accountable and can look back and claim that I did do what I set out to do.
Yet, I must also acknowledge the things I have accomplished. It is not that I haven’t accomplished some of my goals. For starters, only this past year, I managed to go alone on a charity trip to the desert in Algeria and had such a life-changing experience. Although I was there to help others, for me, the trip was a wonderful experience and brought me right out of my comfort zone. It taught me to set the bar higher for myself and to never talk myself out of something without trying it first. That trip was the harbinger of change in this late stage of my life and put me in a mindset that speaks to me encouragingly. InshaAllah, there are many similarly uplifting experiences waiting for me to create and execute.
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